Awakening...

i lay here, in a small space in bed,trying to extract the meaning of life i've led so far. i try to weigh n' calculate and remember all the losses and the gains i've made in terms of my own identity. sleep just seems to slip every now n then, leaving me dry and sucked. i conjure up all the energy i have and think hard where i went wrong....to come to a point of awakening where my mind floats and i feel lighter sans the burden! why is it all so muddled? why isnt there any enlightening? am i too sinful? or is it just a labyrinth? i try to hum a lullaby to put myself to sleep..... i fail yet again.

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