diary

i woke up with the usual dry mouth. Consistency to quit smoking hasn't been that great of late. I know i should give up coz i hate having to sneak out from the unit every few hours lying to my 6 yr old son just for a drag! n' i hate waking up with parched throat n' pungent mouth. but i need the substance for a short break away from everyone....i need my space, a space to breathe n' think clearly n' gather my wandering thoughts.

Running around insanely to secure a future for my family, being torn between household chores, family time, professional commitment and a distant love.......feels like i'm on a merry-g0-round...spinning in circles over n' over n' over again!

if only ANYONE knew what's going on in my head or in my life.....there are bits and pieces of me scattered everywhere. I know i need to collect them and build my own identity, create a life! when things go wrong and i find myself cornered in the dark spot, i lick my own wounds and console my crying heart that one day i'll emerge out a winner, winner who won back her true bubbly, cheerful, enthusiastic,creative self, winner hwo has her dearest son and her beloved with her and nothing to worry about.........seems like a long journey out of this darkness but the hopes havent died and i'm still alive.

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