We need to admit to mistakes and apologise as parents

When I watched the movie “Ladybird”, I was expecting to relate myself to the rebellious teenager of the movie. Strangely though, I was left feeling exasperated when I related more to the mother of the protagonist.

After watching this movie, I realised that parents rarely admit their mistakes. It’s very very rare that they even have an insight into how their upbringing, their actions, their gestures, their haughtiness, their words might have a negative impact on their children. Of course no parents deliberately try to hurt their kids but lack of admittance, lack of open communication and lack of insight into the effect they have on their kids can very much instigate silent rebellion in their children. Sometimes their relationship becomes irrevocably sour, often times, it remains indifferent or neutral. 

I felt utterly sorry for the teenager for feeling the way most teenagers do. Desperate to get her mothers approval, made to feel ungrateful, struggling to fit in, fighting with her mother to be accepted as she was. Despite her good intentions and immense love for her child, the mother seems unable to convince her child that she is good enough for her and her absolute best, no matter how poorly she acts, is acceptable. It could have been the father, it could have been the son. But it doesn’t matter. This movie was all about acceptance. That’s how I saw it anyway. 

Despite being a relaxed, “cool” and open Mum to my own teenager, I now wonder how many times I have admitted my shortfalls, how many times I have actually apologised to him for not being able to understand him. I can only count few times. I feel so apprehensive that I might have disappointed him on many occasions unknowingly and unintentionally. That doesn’t mean his disappointment in me is invalid. It just means I failed my child when he needed validation from me the most. I know we are very close and he generally verbalises his emotions and we sort things out without letting our ego get the better of us but from here on I’ll be a better parent. I’ll admit my mistakes more, I’ll apologise more. I hope the new generation of parents can do the same. We don’t become small by admitting and apologising. In fact we become wholesome. 

Thoughts to ponder! Happy weekend everyone !!